If you havent done time dont talk like you have
In other areas of life too, most people prefer to come to their own solutions. When a loved one has health problems is a time when they probably want to tell you how they’re feeling, and get things off their chest, rather than have lots of advice about what they should be doing. It’s not always easy, but lending a listening, supportive ear can be much more rewarding than telling someone what they should do.
Don’t look at your watch, fidget or play with your hair or fingernails. Nod your head, smile and make small noises like “yes” and “uh huh”, to show that you’re listening and encourage the speaker to continue. You can’t listen and prepare at the same time. Equally, don’t assume that you know what’s going to be said next. If you start reacting emotionally to what’s being said, then it can get in the way of listening to what is said next. Listen without judging, or jumping to conclusions If this does happen, steer the conversation back to “So, you were telling me about…”. Letting the other person speak will make it easier for you to understand their message, too.Įven interruptions that respond to something that they’ve said can be distracting if it means the conversation gets sidetracked from what they were trying to tell you about. Remember, a pause or a few seconds of silence doesn’t mean that you have to jump in. If you are naturally a quicker thinker or speaker, force yourself to slow down so that the other person can express themselves.
Don’t interruptīeing interrupted is frustrating for the other person – it gives the impression that you think you’re more important, or that you don’t have time for what they have to say.
Even on the phone, you can learn a lot from the other person’s voice, which might sound subdued or upbeat. Pay attention to what the other person is saying with their body language - are they smiling, for example, or are their arms crossed defensively, or are they rubbing their eyes as if they're tired or upset. Pay attention to what the other person is saying with their body languageįacial expressions, tone of voice and gestures can tell you just as much as what is being said in words. Leaning slightly forward or sideways whilst sitting can show that you’re listening – as can a slight tilt of your head or resting your head on your hand. When you look away, looking to the side or up is better than looking down, which can seem like you want to close the conversation.Ĭheck your posture and make sure it’s open – avoid crossed arms or crossed legs, which can make you look ‘closed’ or defensive. Try breaking eye contact every five seconds or so, or to show you’re listening attentively, look at one eye for five seconds, then another eye for five seconds, then switch to looking at their mouth. Too much eye contact can be intimidating, though, so adapt this to the situation you’re in. 1. Face the speaker and have eye contactĮye contact is an important part of face to face conversation. Here are 10 easy ways to make your communication more effective and make the other person feel more valued. This is called active listening, and it can help avoid misunderstanding and reduce the potential for conflict. When we show we’re really listening, it’s much more rewarding for the person talking to you, and you’ll get more out of it too. But most of us aren’t as good at listening as we’d like to think. Listening is an important skill in all areas of life, whether you’re supporting a loved one through health problems, dealing with colleagues or in family relationships.